On Creating the Life You Want
I am a creative person. After years of wrestling with this aspect of my personality and soul, I can finally say it out loud. I am a creative person.
My history as a creative is a long and winding road. My personality is practically a case study in Newton's Law of Motion, Psychology Edition. You know, the "everything has an equal but opposite reaction" thing? Yah. That's me. Even from an early age, my pull towards creativity was equally opposed and countered by my drive to be a perfectionist. I loved to color. But if anything went even slightly out of the lines - meltdown. As a gymnast, I hated to fail. I loved the artful grace I felt as I coordinated my own routines in my head. But not sticking a landing? Not okay.
As an adult, this manifested itself in chasing practicality over adventure. It meant thinking about jobs and income, rather than fulfillment and enjoyment. It meant a degree in Finance, rather than culinary school. It meant a 12 hour sobbing car ride as I picked up my life and moved to Greensboro, North Carolina to take a big girl job that felt like a violation of my soul.
I have no regrets over the path I have taken thus far. I am a firm believer that everything in life happens for a reason. The good, the bad, and everything in between serves it's purpose. Had I not followed the path and made every decision exactly as I had, I know for a fact that I wouldn't be living in Greenville with the man who keeps my soul alive! I wouldn't have had the self confidence to pursue my creative dreams and discover what I truly love - design, photography, writing.
But I am also a firm believer in paving your own path and creating the life you want. In the years I was working on building my career in the finance world, I was also taking time to listen to where my heart was being pulled. I spent a lot of time day dreaming, but also a lot of time investing in my hobbies and interests. I learned how to use a nice camera. I taught myself how to use Photoshop and Illustrator. I silently observed people I admired - everything from the careers they chose to the way they lived their lives. I studied design that I liked, and photographs that I admired. With each moment spent on these seemingly small projects, I was slowly but surely building something that became the basis of where I am today.
On a fateful day in 2014, I made the decision to move to Charlotte, NC. I can't tell you what it was, other than that gut feeling that we all have, that little whisper that guides us as we make a big decision, but I knew with every part of me that I was meant to move there. I left wonderful friends I made in Greensboro and started fresh. I challenged myself to open up, meet new people, and create a life that felt right in my soul. After a short year of living there, I was engaged to my now husband, and preparing for the next step of our lives together.
I continue to be encouraged by the simple fact that I have the ability to take action towards my goals. Everything isn't always sunshine and daisies. There are moments of self doubt and questioning whether or not I'll ever get to the end goal. There are days when I wonder WHAT IN THE WORLD a setback's purpose is because REALLY can that is actually be happening right now!?!?!? But with time comes clarity and more opportunity to make small progress. And that's what it's all about.